she stands at the crossroads

her heart saddens at the cross roads. unafraid she takes two steps forward but longs for ten steps back. she was safe in his arms. she doesn't know whose arms come next. her Father's arms, which are complete, she has the audacity to reject.  not that she necessarily wants this to be. but the thought of going back certainly lingers. imprinted on her soul, though she tries to shake him off. he has left a mark, not like the mark on her forehead she inherited from her Mother. no, he left a mark on her soul. she regrets his entrenance, or the permission she gave when he knocked on her door. she let him him because his presence was new and exhilariting, ready she was to take the ride after many many years of avoidance. seemed tastier than mint chocolate and caramel fudge or her mental darkness she battled since 1997. when their unity unlaced, depression hit again. she's at the crossroads again, and her heart saddens as she looks back, counting all the reasons for the security of knowing. only distance prevents her from not making the physical return. although in her mind she longs, and in her heart she yearns. at the crossroads the fear of this new fight is the realization that it is not a battle of physical terrain but one of the battle of the heart and mind.