a letter to youth

queridos jovenes,
sorry for assuming that my college degree and experience as a youth developer validated my position and command to lead you. i'm sorry i felt this was more my space than yours even though you have been here for close to two years. i've only been here for a month. sorry for being cut throat with you when what you need is love and care. sorry for assuming that you would get it when you need to be guided and gently told with room to decide. please forgive me when i yell because it makes me feel in control. or forcing you to come with me, when you really want to stay, or fighting you when you've made up your mind. forgive me for not giving you reasons, and not involving you in the planning process. it's sometimes faster (for me) to develop things on my own, but more rewarding (for you) when you have a hand in your own experience. we are of two different worlds, it seems. sometimes, to be honest, as though we are building a wall that will not be shattered. instead of building connections it seems that you give your back to me. your eyes sometimes filled with so much rage, its scary. i feel resentful and sad we are moving so slowly towards togetherness. but i plan to be patient. i will be thoughtful. i will listen to you and overcommunicate and explain why. so you will be informed. i will not treat you as though you are a typical middle schooler and "hate everybody" i have seen your loving side. i have noticed you form attachments with your peers and treat each other like family. i've witnessed your smiles regularly. i love how you love to sing and dance. this is why i will remember you, and my list of these is growing everyday. i will fall in love with you because the Love Supreme is guiding me.