MINE!

today i went over some self-care and stress management tools in a meeting. i found one technique very useful-- "disarming oneself" this particular technique said that we don't have to be competitive all the time. the piercing encouragement was "you don't have to raise your voice in a simple argument" i was with my sister and pastor friend del yesterday. when i saw that my bed was messed up and evidence of a three year old's footsteps impressed on my comforter, i immediately ran upstairs in rage. using my tone of attack, piercing bullets bubbling in the roof of my mouth, expelling them i yelled "why were you on my bed, and why didn't you leave it how you found it?" I felt my space had been violated. for the last couple of years i have privately and sometimes openly struggled with others touching or taking my stuff without permission. pastor del froze time when he saw anger in my look, "stop! treat her like you would treat Jesus" his words dissipated into the atmosphere, time unfroze in that instant i did the exact opposite ,"go downstairs and fix it!" I yelled. of course, del buffered with "no, that's not how you would treat Jesus." I had failed a quiz. if little things make a big difference, this little thing is a reflection of the anger that lies within. it's the "mine" mentality. that same mentality that i see manifest in my three year old nephew's attitude. everything is his, even the food i eat is fair game. i don't yell at my sister and say MINE, but i do arm myself with anger and resentment. it's amazing how much emphasis we put on MINE. in the workplace it affects attitudes and behaviors towards desks, computers, community spaces. in school it affects ownership again of space as it relates to libraries, books, classrooms. who is entitled to what. when we navigate life, society it affects friendships, relationships. who met who first between two women friends. whose lady friend is it? between two male counterparts. its very deep when you take a closer look to the psychology of possession. often times is ruptures connections in our lives. our me mentality gets in the way of the next level. and yet God calls us to look outside ourselves to care for those around, and love those around. but the mind frame to satisfy our desires gets in the way of our calling and purpose to serve others. what can we do? how can we shift or me mentality into a we mentality? well i believe first we must identify areas in our life that are me-centered. most if not all will be self-centered. next we must choose areas that we want to work through to make others the focus and not ourselves. these must align with our personal values. to be continued...