most of us assume things around us will "help" us. we say things like "this program will help me accomplish ___ goal" or "this class will help me with ____" or "this teacher will help me do x, y,z" we see people and things as instruments to use to fulfill our own agenda. this "help me" mentality is everywhere. most recently i've seen this in school as we begin a new quarter. our introductions are followed by personal messages of what we hope to do in the future, and how this class or this thing will "help" us. very rarely do these PSA's include bettering others or some other cause other than ourselves. i'm seeing our self-addiction and individualism more and more after learning that i have this dis ease in Blue Like Jazz by Don Miler. at the school of theology i attend, professors encourage self-awareness which is central to working with groups be they family, friends, or the greater world, yet there must be a questioning of motives and a search for the intentions of our hearts. we want self-care, we crave self-help, we desire self-everything. its disturbing the way self-addiction is encourage in "the academy". my friend always calls it "mental masturbation" the visual (in my mind) of that statement kind of perturbs me, but it works.
i find myself thinking about my dreams more than i think of others. i love my dreams. i dream of being a diplomat and traveling the world i urgently see myself changing the world, but i don't know if its for self-gain or for dedicating my life to some hardcore social change. sometimes i dream of being the best photographer and film-maker i can be. other times i wish i were a jazz musician, salvadoran, folk female vocalist who wrote piercing revolutionary lyrics like Violeta Parra. but these are all me-centric. what about the world? what about others? what about the children? what about that hardcore social change i mentioned?
this Christmas break i learned about Tio Chungo, my 6'2 (amazing considering the average size of Salvadoran) uncle who fought in the Salvadoran militia during the civil war. after sometime, Tio Chungo switched over to the rebels side. Hundreds and maybe even thousands (some of the details of this story are unclear) were saved because of Tio Chungo's conversion. he armed himself and fought for the rights of peasant farmworkers who were screwed over by wealthy landowners.
sometimes you meet one person, or learn about one who changes everything for you. someone who makes you want to get off your ass. one person that leaves you with the thought "what the hec am i doing with my life?" why can't i do more? and more importantly why am i not doing more? and the answer to these questions almost certainly is: we were so busy trying to help ourselves. i think of people who very deliberately take care of others in spite of their busy schedules. i think of my friend who took a day off without pay to spend time with me, i think of one who gave another the last of their food. i think of my pastor friend who started a foundation and has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for his ministry in the Philippians. his newest project is building an orphanage (did i mention is a year older than me?) there exists so many examples around us of people giving of themselves. My Saviour and spiritual mentor: Jesus never received anything from anyone, He gave. He gave healing, He gave hope, He gave life. Harriet Tubman refused to let a brave sojourner of freedom turn back on the underground railroad. Let's start looking for people living out the call of giving of self, not helping-self. they should become our friends. we should desire the Spirit that impels them to act. to actually get off their ass and stop talking and start doing. sometimes we get so carried away in our dreams, in our thoughts, in our dizzing meetings we forget to care for others. something other than the fallacy of individualism and the cancer of self-addiction must birthed within us.
No comments:
Post a Comment