babies

spent a whole 3 days with my nephew this week, which is like spending a month with him. got my fill and even got some blows to the stomach, he bit me once. i would be a horrible mother, because i would not hit my kids, and i already know i'm going to have wild kids, so i fear it will be a diaster. they might attack me and hit me like a pinata. i'm being exajerada but hey. we shall si. Solo Dios sabe. but as i carry babies on saturday mornings (via job at the YMCA) and on the occasional friday mornings i realize how theraputic it is for me. as a child, i loved carrying babies. my tia would tell me, "stop carrying babies te va dar una hernia, you'll get a hernia" i would carry them because i loved the feeling. inexplicable. fulfilled. that transition between carrying babydolls and real babies was transformative. when i learned about feminism in college, i thought it was synonymous for hating babies and men. i've matured past that (oh thank God!) now, when i see a baby, i immediately want to grab her, carry her, and rock her. i'm SO not ready to have babies...a woman suggested i wait 30 years...she called her babies monsters. so real. i love when women give other women advice. men should sit down, because they just have no idea. thank you sisters for having my back. legs shall remain closed for now.i believe in a woman's right to choose what's right for her body and circumstance. i also believe in God's perfect plan and destiny for every being. am i allowed to believe both?