i feel as though i'm talking to my father, the patron saint of whatever, emotionally disconnected, and manipulatively invested. you have no gull to tell me i'm beautiful, and its clear to me that you don't know how. a woman like me needs afirmation first wholly then based on looks. but you will never understand teh depths of me, because i won't let you.
i'm not looking for your approval, even though you think i am. the longer i prolong this conversation the more my inner disaster of resisting you lives on. door shut. you think its open.
i was once a bird who didn't know any better. that's why a 24 year old emotionally got me at 16. i was once a bird who didn't no any better, when a 40 year old called my spirit a bitch "let that sink in your spirit" Grace has allowed me to see although in many instances it was right before it was too late.
this time i saw after a week, record time getting shorter. whereas before it would have taken me months, even years, God's mercy has revealed, and my heart is open to the truth. rationality won't win no more, spiritual food is now more important. you can keep your sushi, asparagus, and your dreamy plates of bread, butter, and cheese.
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