reflecting practicing what i preach

ever since i have prescribed reflection in doses to friends and family or just anyone who will listen, i've noticed two things: one when i talk about something i do it less, subsituting the talking for doing. two, if i talk about it so much without doing i am a hyprcite and the tax of that realization ways heavy, so i tend to ignore avoid ignore. that's kind of what has happened in the last couple of months. i don't know when exactly it began, but what i can say is i'm writing/reflecting/praying my way out of this one. of course, an emergency brought me to this moment, i know i am at the beginning of something big, when i want to avoid at every moment. i find a million things to do, and yet what needs to get done does not get done. i have found motivation in a friend who says "i'm always working" i want to be like her. always working, but also with enough pause to say: i have to question and interrogate at the soul level. asking myself is what i am doing to store treasures on earth, or in heaven. opportunities to preach abound, but do i want to be a preacher? or am i too afraid. opportunities to cut the curse of deception abound, but am i ready. who i am and where i am set in. today. now. let it begin. it has been. it will be. get that ______. okay.